The lost sheep, the woman with the ointment and other parables

In the parable of the lost sheep, it talks about how Christ, the shepherd, leaves the 99 and goes after the one sheep who had gone astray.  I didn't have too much problem with that until I read the end which says, in Matthew 18:13, " And if it so be that he find it, verily I say until you , he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray."

What? Christ rejoices more over the one who went astray and came back than the ones who stayed where they were supposed to the whole time?  That doesn't seem right or fair.  I had a hard time with this. 

Similarly is the story in Luke 7 where the woman washed Christ's feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair and she anointed His feet with ointment.  In verse 47, Christ tells Simon about her, "Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little."  In vs 41-43, He also talks about the creditor who was owed 500 pence by one person and 50 by the other.  The creditor "frankly forgave them both". And Christ asked "which of them will love him most?"  Simon answered the one to whom he forgave most. 

Also the Prodigal Son- the father rejoiced and gave a party for the son who went astray and came home.  The other son was feeling like that was unfair. 

Or the parable of where they were paid the same at the end of the day regardless of how many hours they worked.

This is difficult when I am always seeing myself as the one who is always going the right way (not astray) and who doesn't need much forgiveness--because I am not doing wrong.  Christ knows that we are always in need of repentance and growth.  When we are seeing ourselves as being the good one, that is a sign that we are not seeing places where we need Christ.  When I see myself frustrated with the woman, the prodigal son, or the ONE sheep, that is a sign that I am missing the parts in myself that need repentance, forgiveness, that need Christ, that need growth.  When I identify too much with the prideful, I am stuck. 

But, why do some of us tend to identify with the 99, with the brother of the prodigal, or Simon, who judged the woman who anointed Jesus?

I think there are two main reasons.  First, as mentioned above, is pride.  We think that we are doing well. We see ourselves as doing all the right things, as somehow above others who are making mistakes.  We feel like we should be rewarded more for our better-ness.  It is natural to want to compare ourselves.  And we want to come out favorable in the comparison.  It gives us permission to believe in our goodness if we can see the ways that we are doing better than someone else.  However, we never have all the information, so our judgment in these areas is never complete.  What does it really mean anyway?  It feels like it means something, because most of us compare.

 Second we sometimes identify with them, in some ways because of scarcity.  We believe that someone else getting something good is diminishing or taking away our ability to receive something good.  We think that good things in one place are taking good from another place.  We think it is zero sum and there’s not enough for everyone. But, Jesus doesn't work in zero sum.  This belief can be dangerous, because if we have this scarcity or zero sum belief underneath, what happens when we get something good?  Then we feel like we either don't deserve it, or that we are bad because we are taking something from someone else.  It's not a good situation. 

That ends up being a lose-lose situation.

 When we can really see what we are believing and then challenge those beliefs, see if they really make sense, this is where we have our most power and the most agency.  We can believe things intentionally.  This intentional belief often doesn't negate the unconscious beliefs right away, but as we question them with curiosity, often, with time, we can break down those beliefs that don't make sense and don't serve us, and then replace those with beliefs that make more sense and that make our lives better.