Grace Over Perfection: What Jesus Taught Me About Sin and Identity”

I was recently thinking about Ann, a friend and mentor of mine.  She passed away a few years ago, and she was loved by so many.  Sometimes it's tempting to think of all the good things about people who are loved sometimes think how perfect they are. Ann and I disagreed on some things.  But I respected her and loved her dearly.  She loved people where they were.  She also loved helping people.  She was compassionate and authentic. 

Recently I was able to go inside the Notre Dame cathedral during a service.  It was amazing and beautiful and I could feel that many there loved the Savior.  But God also felt very distant to me while I was there.  God and Christ seemed so many levels above that they were nothing like us. I thought of Christ, whom I have been getting to know in the New Testament.  He was among the people.  Though people were drawn to Him, many did come to Him; Jesus also went among the people and came to them.  He went to the lepers.  He ate with the harlots.  He showed us, by example, to be with others — even though it can be painful. He didn't stay away from people who sinned.  But he also did not want people to remain in their sins.  He told one woman who was caught in adultery several times, "Go and sin no more."  I was thinking about this.  Did Jesus expect her to never sin again?  I doubt it.  I believe most of us fall short until the day we die.  But, I think that sometimes we bring our sins as part of our identity.  We say, “that’s just how I am.” Then it is difficult to move forward.  I wonder if Christ was more saying to her, "move on. This is no longer who you are.  This is no longer your identity." 

Sometimes, when we feel we need to be perfect, when we have those perfectionist tendencies, we can no longer even be with ourselves.  If Christ can be with sin and imperfection, then we can be with ourselves too. I have also been taught over the years that there are places that the Spirit cannot come.  But yet, Christ came to all the places.  Jeffrey R. Holland said, “However many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made … , I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.”

We will sin again. But Christ also said in Luke 7:47 "Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little." Being able to change through repenting and using Christ’s Atonement builds our identity instead of keeping us stuck.

What I learned from Cain and Abel

As I have been studying the Old Testament, I was reading in Genesis 4 about Cain and Abel.  Cain and Abel both brought their offerings to God and Abel’s offering was respected while Cain’s was not.  It is not clear in the text why Abel’s was respected and Cain’s was not.  Perhaps something about “firstfruits.”  However, I found verse 7 interesting.  

7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. 

It seems as if God is giving Cain a chance to do well, to try again to do it right and “shalt thou not be accepted?”  

But instead of looking at his own actions and into his own life, Cain instead looks at his brother and decides a change in his brother’s life is the solution.  Cain has little control over another person, his brother, and thinks that the ultimate control is to kill him.  

How often, when we have problems in our lives, are we tempted to look for the blame outside of ourselves, our own lives. When we look outside ourselves, we have little control and feel stuck, and sometimes feel like the only solution is to control others.  But if we look in our own lives, painful as it sometimes is to see where we have gone wrong, it is there that we have control, it is there we can enact change, and it is there we have the hope of things getting better.  

Sometimes this comes up in sneaky ways that seem and feel pretty righteous and empathetic.  I want to plan a family vacation so that we can enjoy spending time together and become closer.  Sounds pretty wonderful, right? Except that when I think this, I am judging my success on other people’s actions and feelings.  But it sounds so wonderful to want others to be happy, doesn’t it? Except that when they aren’t, I have made it a judgment on me—giving me responsibility for something I have no control over.  Influence perhaps, but not control. So, if I plan the vacation and family members are unhappy for whatever reason, I feel bad.  And then, how am I interacting with my family when I feel bad?  I might try to do things to control them into being happy, or I might pull away.  Both things that might make me feel worse and perhaps influence others to feel worse as well. 

However, if I consciously decide that I am providing an opportunity for my family, it might be easier to judge myself by the success of something I have control over.  Not for others’ actions and feelings.  God only judges us for things we have conttrol over.  

While Cain took the most drastic way of controlling someone else, how do we try to control others in more sneaky ways to make ourselves feel better? And how can we look at ourselves, while initially more uncomfortable, yields much better results? 

Them or me?

When I feel frustrated, irritated, I usually blame someone or something. It seems obvious to me. 

Except that I’ve noticed that when something particularly digs or hurts, it’s usually because a part of me believes it on some level and is scared it might be true.😳

For example, when I have felt left out, if I can really slow things down, I realize at times that I am excluding myself.  I read a book about succeeding with people and noticed that my body language was often closed and didn’t invite others to engage with me.  I was unconsciously excluding myself from connection.  So, I turned the question of, “why are they excluding me?” into “how am I excluding myself?” And I got some valuable information.  I learned my body language was not communicating the way I wanted.  

 I can also turn the question back to myself in another way.  “Why am I excluding them?” I realized that I had been waiting for someone to approach me— not bothering to approach them.  In a way, I was leaving them out.  

When I realize that the things that most offend or irritate me carry some truth, and then I turn the questions back on myself, I get some good information—if I am ready to take it.  This information gives me more power to change my situation when I take some ownership in it.

Those questions can be uncomfortable at first, but my life gets so much better when I can use them honestly to improve and empower my life. 

(These questions are derived from the teachings of Byron Katie)

Word of the Year 2026

It can be fun and often motivating to pick a word of the year.  A word you can use as a mantra to keep you focused on what you want to be doing and where you want to be headed. 

This year, I have chosen the word ACCEPTANCE.  When I can accept that there are some things I cannot change, it is easier to focus on the things I can change, where I do have control.  I have learned from Byron Katie that when we fight against reality, we only lose all of the time.  I have also learned that when I accept myself and my situation, imperfections and all, I am. more likely to be able to move forward in self-compassion rather than self-criticism.  

What will you choose?  Where is your focus for the coming year? 

Christ is perfect, but He has scars.

Christ is perfect, but He has scars. 

How could this be true?  We often see scars as imperfections.  We often see them as reminders of things we wish had gone differently.  Sometimes as things we would rather forget.

But Christ is perfect, and He has scars.

Not only does He have scars, but those scars tell an excruciating and beautiful story.  He makes no attempt to hide those scars.  In fact, He shares them and invites us to see and feel them. 
Christ didn't just suffer for us.

He set the example.

Not only in how He loved and served others,

Also in how He suffered.  In how He created a powerful and healing narrative.

Christ doesn't hide his scars.

He doesn't pretend it never happened.

He doesn't act like it didn't hurt or it was no big deal.

He owns that He didn't want to go through that. He shares that it was agonizing.  He claims no power in glossing over the Truth.

AND

God, through Christ, has turned the worst pain into the greatest healing story. 

Not by making it as though it never happened.  Not by saying that it was OK for those who hurt Christ to have hurt Him.  Not by saying it wasn't even that hard.

It is healing because the Truth is acknowledged and felt. 

It is healing because it creates shared experience.

But part of the beauty of the scars is that they have become scars. They are no longer open wounds. 

Christ doesn't need to bleed and die again to validate His and our experience.

How often do we feel like we need to open our wounds again to validate our past hurt?

If we don't keep opening the wound, we somehow lessen the validity of our past experience?

How do we follow the example of Christ?

How do we honor the experience through the scars and not by keeping the wound open and bleeding?

How do we let Him transform our excruciating pains into beauty? 

Not the beauty of a life where bad things never happened.

But the beauty of a life where bad things happened AND it was awful. AND I now have some of the ability of Christ to sit with others in their pain.  AND those experiences are painful AND beautiful AND sacred. 

I can stop wishing it never happened.  Letting that wish go doesn't let an abuser off the hook. 

It just frees me to use that capacity and depth in my soul elsewhere.

Between Blind Obedience and Walking Away: What the Atonement Teaches Us About Imperfect Leaders

We put our trust in a religion, an organization, a person. Then we find out they were wrong about something.  Often our tendency is to lose trust. We feel bamboozled.  We feel gullible.

What we do in response is often to distance ourselves from that entity completely.  No trust left.  Our society supports this.  We live in a cancel culture.  One thing wrong and the person or entity is done.  No second chances. 

But, that is not how things work.  God sent us here to earth knowing we would make mistakes and be wrong.  He also provided Christ who came with a plan for what happens when things go wrong.  This is the Atonement. This takes care of all of it.  When we do something wrong, we can repent.  We can turn our direction and focus back towards God.  Repentance isn’t just about restitution.  It is about aligning ourselves with truth.  The Atonement also takes care of when others do something wrong.  It can heal us when others have hurt us.  In the process, it may even make us come out better and stronger than before we were hurt.

While we don’t just keep accepting deception and abuse from those who harm us over and over, not every mistake is abuse and deception.  Sometimes a mistake is a lack of understanding and truth.  Sometimes it is caused by not enough good information, sometimes it is caused from past trauma, or just being human.  And humans also lead entities such as organizations and religions.  They are subject to the same human weaknesses. 

Do we want to throw out all the good in a person or entity when they make a mistake?  If the mistake is big enough, perhaps.  If the mistake is just the one of many that is now discovered, maybe. 

But too often we think of the idea of restitution as the guiding principle for mistakes.  The problem with that is, we think the ultimate solution to a problem is to find someone or some institution to blame.  Then if we get rid of them, we solve the problem. 

That rarely is the case. 

We have canceled many politicians out of government, but the government is more dysfunctional than ever.

What if we kept some of the people in who made mistakes?  In business they often say that failure is one of the most powerful teachers. If we kept some of the people in who failed, what kind of wisdom might we have?  If we stayed with an institution who acknowledges mistakes and failures and changes, what kind of institutional wisdom might it have to offer its members? What if some of these people and institutions are better for having gone through mistakes or failure?

The problem with blind obedience is that we make things either/or.  Who we follow must be perfect OR we must leave them. 

I want to be a part of something that is growing and learning.  I want to be a part of something that can try and fail and move forward.  I don’t want to have to leave every time there is a mistake.  If I do that, it’s possible I just watch the same mistakes over and over from different people and entities.

Do I believe in Christ’s Atonement? If I do, what does that mean for how I interact with other people and organizations?

Quit hiding the hard stuff—Heal it.

I was pulling out of my garage, and as I was, the folding tables and folded cardboard boxes that were leaned up against the wall in front of the car crashed down right in front of the car. 

I was obviously annoyed.  I was going somewhere and didn’t want to stop and pick up all that dusty stuff, but knew I had to because I couldn’t pull back in with those all across the garage.  

I got out of the car and audibly said “ugh” and started picking up the tables and boxes. As I did, I saw that behind where they had leaned against the wall was a trap with a big rat caught in it. 

Well, another “ugh” and “eewww” and I stacked the tables and boxes, but so I could see the rat in the trap, so we can get rid of it.

Well, gross.  But also, lucky.  I didn’t realize the trap was behind all that and who knows how long that rat would have been there.  Those tables have rarely fallen like that. I ended up being grateful for the fallen tables and boxes because they revealed something yucky I needed to take care of.

How many times do we get frustrated at things that happen in our lives that are inconvenient and uncomfortable? And then when things that are icky get uncovered, we just want to cover them back up again, letting them rot away in our souls.

Sometimes we notice that something makes us more angry, sad, or frustrated than makes sense.  We might say things we wish we hadn’t.  We might ignore it.  We might justify it by blaming someone else.  That’s like covering the rat back up. When we acknowledge it’s us, and look inside ourselves, we might find things we don’t love.  But then we can work to change them.  We can get that ugly rat out and reset the traps.  

Coaching helps you with that awareness and can help you get out those hidden rats.😉

Why allowing yourself to feel negative emotions makes you less reactive.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t feel angry, annoyed, grumpy, dissatisfied…and the list goes on.

It’s not really fun to feel those things.  

Sometimes I don’t like it, or others don’t like it if I act on those things.

 Guess what I found out.

When I let myself feel those feelings without stuffing them down, I am less likely to act like those feelings.  

When I pretend I’m not feeling those, it works for awhile. Until something else happens.  Then they come right back and on top of whatever in the present caused me to feel one of those things.  And whoa! Then comes a reaction that is more intense than the situation called for.😳 It feels a bit out of control. 

When I allow myself to feel those negative or unpleasant feelings, I don’t have to act on them.  But I allow them and have compassion with myself as a human, they are much less likely to cause me problems.

If you want help learning how to do this, we can work on that in coaching. 

It’s not about feeling good all the time. It’s about doing what we want to do.  Being the person we want to be and figuring out how to feel the least amount of discomfort to do that, but still allowing and at times embracing the discomfort.

What am I willing to…

When I go through something hard, sometimes I just don’t know why.

I felt inspired to do something and it didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped or expected.

It hurts.

And I don’t really see why.

And I’m doubting my ability to understand promptings and inspiration.

Sometimes it’s taking a short journey down a “wrong road”, so we can more easily recognize the “right road.”

Sometimes it’s giving us an opportunity to understand ourselves better. To see how strong we are truly becoming.  To know that when things are tough, we stick to the basic truths and to God.

Or, it could be preparing us to help and be there for someone else when they are struggling.

This takes faith to be able to hurt with someone before they even hurt.  This is in a small way akin to how Christ suffered for us.  This is a part of true consecration.

The only one whose suffering can heal us

 I never feel like Christ is scared for me or worries about me.  Even when tough things happen.  Yet, as humans, we often feel very selfless in having these emotion—such as worry or fear— about those we care for. 

I grew up having a very strong sense of justice.  I didn't like to see people getting treated in ways that seemed unfair. It was also hard for me to see when people who did bad things seemed to go unpunished.  The unfairness just frustrated me.  It wasn't just people who had hurt me or those I cared about.  I just didn't like to see bad going unpunished. My dad said I had “an overactive sense of justice”.  But, was my "overactive sense of justice" actually part of a lack of faith?  At the time, it felt very righteous.  It felt like I was looking out for the underdog.  I cared about others.  But, often there was very little I could do about the situation other than being upset and talking about it. I have come to realize that being upset about things I can't control is often a sign that I am not believing in God and Christ's plan to take care of things eternally.  I was thinking that somehow I had to help others be punished so that someone else or I could feel better.  Somehow knowing that justice was served, I could have permission to feel better.

But does that actually work? When someone else suffers, do we really feel better?  Maybe sometimes, but only temporarily. 

The only one whose suffering can heal us is Christ's.  All others' suffering is really only about them and their growth.  Having someone else suffer for things they did wrong to us or others doesn't affect our eternal progression.  And their suffering never has the power to take away ours.

Many years ago, I dated a guy pretty seriously and we broke up.  It was a hard break up for me.  Shortly after we broke up, he and one of my best friends at the time started dating.  Part of me wanted them to have a bad break up.  To suffer like I was suffering.  Part of me didn't want to see them happy.  But, I started to realize that while I was grieving and suffering, if they suffered too, that wouldn't really make me happier. It would just add more sadness into the world.  So, of course, with this understanding, I just bucked up and was happy.  No, not really.  It still took some time for me to be glad for their happiness.  Realizing it in my mind, and getting my emotions to catch up are two different things.  But it does help that it makes sense in my mind first.  I can remind my emotions that they get to catch up too.  They ended up getting married.  And I am happy for them.  They are both great people-- of course they were, they were both my friends, right? 

It's such a natural response, to feel like you want others to suffer when you suffer.  Misery loves company is how the saying goes.  We don't want good things to happen to those that do bad.  Especially not those who have done bad to us.  But, when we take this sense of justice into our own hands, that can often be the beginning of worse things in our own lives.

Remember in Star Wars III, where Anakin really takes a turn towards the dark side?  The final pivotal point in that turn was when he was angry and wanted to avenge Padme.  There is a reason that the Lord says that "vengeance is mine." (Romans 12:19)

When we stop needing others to suffer or to be responsible for others' suffering, then is when our suffering is eased.  I am grateful for Christ and His willingness and ability to do that for each of us.

From stuck to action

I was having some questions about the direction of my life.

I felt confused.  I felt less-than.  

I was judging myself for those feelings and for not moving forward. I felt stuck.

Then, I realized that wherever I am, I got myself here.  I realized that I wanted exactly what I had at some level.

From that space, I could judge myself for not being where I thought I would be, or where others thought I should be. 

OR, I could accept reality. I could accept the present.  I could be kind to myself.  

Once I accepted and embraced the present, all of a sudden, I had ideas. I had motivation.  I knew next steps. 

Those steps weren’t what I thought they would be. 

But they got me moving. 

They were important. 

Taking some action often begets more action. 

When I told myself I was confused and behind, I felt stuck. I had a hard time doing anything. 

When I embraced and accepted where I was, I felt lighter.  I felt more open. I had more ideas and I felt ready to act on them. 

If you’re feeling stuck, you might feel like being unhappy will motivate you to action. 

It might. 

But that motivation doesn’t last long.  And it takes a lot of willpower. 

Being honest and compassionate with yourself gives you clarity, direction, and energy. 

Where are you feeling stuck, and where can you be kind to yourself? 

How will that change things? 

Part 2: Showing vs. Sharing love: sexuality

This is also true in sexuality. 

We often think of sex as a give and take, a compromise, letting our partner have some things they want sometimes and other times what we want- in terms of sex acts, frequency, etc.

 But if we think of sexuality in terms of connecting with each other, these compromises become much more than compromises.  They become love and exploration of not just bodies, but souls.  We so often consider our differences in desire to be a problem.  The reality is the way we work through our differences sexually with our  partner allows us to grow both individually and as a partnership.

  God did not intend for our sexual drives to match up.  We know that because almost no couple’s sexual desires do.  So, that must be His intention. 

Yet, God also desires our happiness and our loyalty and fidelity to Him and our partner.  So, He has a plan for us to navigate this successfully.  That doesn’t mean it will be easy. 

David Schnarch talks about the concept of differentiation- something necessary in many areas of life, but something we are pretty regularly confronted with in long term monogamous sexual relationships.  It requires us to “hold onto ourselves,” to hold onto our wants and needs, even while at the same time acknowledging and at times seeing and allowing our partner’s wants and needs.  And this can also mean considering changing ours- but not to “give in,” but with the idea that we are willing to consider things from a new or different perspective of my partner, but still with the agency to take it or leave it.  And learning how to love each other through growth and differences.

Showing love vs. sharing love

Showing love vs. sharing love.

They kind of seem the same.

But I noticed that for me, the idea of showing love has me focused on the actions, and when I’m focused on the actions, I end up being more self focused. 

“Am I doing it right?”  “What do they think of me?” I’m concerned about how my “show” is being received.

When I think of sharing love, I am more thought and feeling focused. I’m thinking about the joy and blessing that someone else is in my life and just sharing and expressing that.  I am present with them in the moment instead of in my head about what happened in the past and what will happen in the future. 

The actions come more naturally and I am more present with the person and my genuine-ness comes across. 

What do you think?

Does this create a shift for you

The lost sheep, the woman with the ointment and other parables

In the parable of the lost sheep, it talks about how Christ, the shepherd, leaves the 99 and goes after the one sheep who had gone astray.  I didn't have too much problem with that until I read the end which says, in Matthew 18:13, " And if it so be that he find it, verily I say until you , he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray."

What? Christ rejoices more over the one who went astray and came back than the ones who stayed where they were supposed to the whole time?  That doesn't seem right or fair.  I had a hard time with this. 

Similarly is the story in Luke 7 where the woman washed Christ's feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair and she anointed His feet with ointment.  In verse 47, Christ tells Simon about her, "Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little."  In vs 41-43, He also talks about the creditor who was owed 500 pence by one person and 50 by the other.  The creditor "frankly forgave them both". And Christ asked "which of them will love him most?"  Simon answered the one to whom he forgave most. 

Also the Prodigal Son- the father rejoiced and gave a party for the son who went astray and came home.  The other son was feeling like that was unfair. 

Or the parable of where they were paid the same at the end of the day regardless of how many hours they worked.

This is difficult when I am always seeing myself as the one who is always going the right way (not astray) and who doesn't need much forgiveness--because I am not doing wrong.  Christ knows that we are always in need of repentance and growth.  When we are seeing ourselves as being the good one, that is a sign that we are not seeing places where we need Christ.  When I see myself frustrated with the woman, the prodigal son, or the ONE sheep, that is a sign that I am missing the parts in myself that need repentance, forgiveness, that need Christ, that need growth.  When I identify too much with the prideful, I am stuck. 

But, why do some of us tend to identify with the 99, with the brother of the prodigal, or Simon, who judged the woman who anointed Jesus?

I think there are two main reasons.  First, as mentioned above, is pride.  We think that we are doing well. We see ourselves as doing all the right things, as somehow above others who are making mistakes.  We feel like we should be rewarded more for our better-ness.  It is natural to want to compare ourselves.  And we want to come out favorable in the comparison.  It gives us permission to believe in our goodness if we can see the ways that we are doing better than someone else.  However, we never have all the information, so our judgment in these areas is never complete.  What does it really mean anyway?  It feels like it means something, because most of us compare.

 Second we sometimes identify with them, in some ways because of scarcity.  We believe that someone else getting something good is diminishing or taking away our ability to receive something good.  We think that good things in one place are taking good from another place.  We think it is zero sum and there’s not enough for everyone. But, Jesus doesn't work in zero sum.  This belief can be dangerous, because if we have this scarcity or zero sum belief underneath, what happens when we get something good?  Then we feel like we either don't deserve it, or that we are bad because we are taking something from someone else.  It's not a good situation. 

That ends up being a lose-lose situation.

 When we can really see what we are believing and then challenge those beliefs, see if they really make sense, this is where we have our most power and the most agency.  We can believe things intentionally.  This intentional belief often doesn't negate the unconscious beliefs right away, but as we question them with curiosity, often, with time, we can break down those beliefs that don't make sense and don't serve us, and then replace those with beliefs that make more sense and that make our lives better. 

The weight of eternal life

“That Which Was Lost,” by Yongsung Kim, https://havenlight.com/

Henry B. Eyring said, “He is making you strong enough to carry the weight of eternal life.” 

I have never heard eternal life as being “weight.”  We so often talk of eternal life as being some sort of relief from this mortal life.  That we would lose some of the “weight” we have been carrying here on earth.

We often speak of the death of loved ones as a blessing to no longer be plagued with the pains of this earth. 

Eternal life is life with God, as God lives.  

How could God be our Father and be free from reponsibiity, weight, and empathetic pain?  

In the book of Jeremiah and in Moses (in the Pearl of Great Price in Latter-day Saint scripture), it tells of God weeping.  If we care about or love others, that always comes with pain. 
God loves us and cares about us, so He has pain when we experience pain.  That likely means that in eternal life with and like God, we will experience pain as well. 

However, if we are becoming “strong enough to carry the weight of eternal life,” perhaps we experience that pain in a different way. Perhaps our capacity to experience pain is greater and allows us to experience more and to do and be more for others. 

When others hurt us or life hurls difficulties, we often feel like those things never should have happened.  

Maybe.

But how does it feel to think something never should have happened to you?

It implies that you are damaged in some way. 

You are not. You are hurt, but not damaged.

God’s plan allows for opposition.  For free agency.  And those things bring pain and hurt into the world and to each of us. But, His plan also has a Savior who heals.  And we are not only healed, but we are stronger, better, and more capable than ever before. 

Eternal life might be a “weight.”  But it is a beautiful weight that carries with it compassion, empathy, and deep love.  

And eternal life is not alone.  We are with God. 

When I come to God, His healing has the power to not only make me as good as before I was hurt, but BETTER than before I was hurt or sinned.  

We don’t have to wait to experience Christ and God.  We are building our eternal life now.  God and Christ come to us and walk with us now and show us the way. 

You’ve got to get messy to grow.

Sulfuric acid is in some strong cleaners; it can be used to clean things.  However, it can also be very destructive, and things cannot grow in it. 

If we want to grow and create, we need to be willing to be messy and dirty instead of just trying to make everything clean.  

“Clean” can feel safe and sometimes more palatable.  

But at what price? 

It can be messy to listen to and even consider the viewpoints of those that just seem plain wrong to us.  

But, what if we listen and consider?  

It feels uncomfortable.  

It can feel like we are endorsing things we feel are wrong.

But does it have to mean we endorse just because we listen? 

I am striving to be better with discomfort and messiness, because what we can create from that might be beautiful. 

“Make me more worthy”

Last Sunday, I played my violin accompanying a vocalist singing "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul."  It was a challenging part that demanded a bit of practice on my part.  As I practiced, often a phrase from the end of the piece ran through my mind,

"Make me more worthy of thy love,

And fit me for the life above."

 Over the past decade or so, the idea of worthiness has been something I have often thought of and often felt somewhat discouraged by. 

Was Christ's love conditional?  How could that be?  He loves all and expects us to do the same.  If that is true, then what does worthiness really mean? 

As I thought of the words of this song, I realized that I am not asked to be worthy on my own.  I am asking Christ to make me worthy.  I attain worthiness through relation with Christ.  Not by living a mistake-less life. 

In Isaiah 1:18, I have often heard, "though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

That truly is powerful.  The Atonement of Christ has the power to make our sins and mistakes as if they had never happened.  But what is often left out is so important.  In the first part of the verse, before those words, it reads, "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord." 

In order to cleanse our sins; in order to become worthy, we must come to Christ and work together. To take advantage of the power of the Atonement, we are invited into relationship with Christ. 

In the Book of Mormon in Mormon 9:27, the end of the verse reads, "come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him."

Though in our culture, we often acknowledge we don't want to come into relationships of fear, when we look at what fear means in Old Testament and Book of Mormon times, it means something more like reverence, awe, respect, and obedience.  So Mormon more likely is saying coming in relationship to God, with reverence, respect, and willing to obey. 

 I realized the song was inviting me to come to Christ as I am, willing to partake of His atonement, and by doing, I am preparing myself to be able to hold and take advantage of all the blessings of Heaven, of God. 

Worthiness is a process of me becoming the best version of myself.  It is not about a checklist of things that make me more deserving. 

It is not what I deserve.  It is what I am becoming. 

Why the repetition and exactness in prayer and religion?

In religion, we are often taught to pray using certain physical positions and prayer language. 

Perhaps the some of the importance lies less in exactly the way we are speaking and forming our bodies and more that it is the same each time and that it is set apart for prayers. 

In this way, we signal to ourselves and others (in group prayers) that we are in the mode of praying.  Perhaps our ears hearing that language set apart and our bodies in the familiar position, get into the prayer mode more quickly and deeply. 

It is said that our ideas of worship and prayer come from Protestant culture.  This is what was going on, or the culture when the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was restored.  Perhaps if the church was restored somewhere else in another time, the prayer position and language might be different.

This idea is helpful when working with other languages and cultures.  Is is the consistency and set-apart nature that is more important than the actual wording or position?

And will this help when for example someone is unable to get out of bed and kneel?  Could they create their own set-apartness?

 In the Latter-day Saint temple, there are ordinances which must be said exactly.  However, the words in the ordinances have changed a number of times over the years that I have been doing ordinances in the temple.  Does this mean we have to go back and redo every ordinance done before the changes with the new changes?  I have not heard of that happening.  If not, what does that mean about why the words must be exact? 

 Knowing what to expect and doing something apart both in word and in action helps to put us in the proper frame of mind to experience the Divine and to receive revelation.  

Can God require obedience and love us unconditionally?

Why does God ask us to do certain things?  To be obedient?

Some suggest that this means that a God who requires this is a God who loves conditionally.

I believe God loves me unconditonally, but He also asks or even demands certain things of me.  How can it be both? 

In one of our Latter-day Saint scriptures, Moses 1:39, it says, "For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”

If I look at everything that God does is to help His children to live with him eternally, does that change what I think of His laws and ordinances? 

God sees us and cares about us individually, but there is also an element of being saved together.  The last verse of the Old Testament, Malachi 4:6 says, “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”  In the Latter-day Saint temples, people are bound to each other forever.  Though it begins with family units, as people marry and have children who also marry, these family units extend endlessly until ideally, all are sealed or bound together.  

We are also commanded to meet together to worship, both at church and in the temple.  We need each other.  Connection is important both right now in this life, and with those who have passed on or are yet to come.  A personal connection is important both with one another and with God and the Savior.  

Our prophet, President Nelson often speaks of our covenants as “covenant relationship.”  

Being obedient and participating in ordinances gives us the building blocks and the binds for these covenant relationships with God, the Savior, and each other.  

It is also interesting to look at the word “man” in this scripture.  It refers to “humankind”, but leaving it in a singular form, I believe it means not just humankind, but each person individually.  We each have our own journey, but it also intertwines with the journeys of others.  And God’s plan provides the healing of Christ’s Atonement for the inevitable hurt that comes.  

Obedience and ordinances provide us with the growth and capability to receive all of God’s blessings and for us to enjoy each other amid our imperfections.  Just like we don’t send a preschooler to graduate school to learn, we are not able to learn all God wants us to learn or to hold all His blessings until we have extended our capacity.  I believe this is what His laws and ordinances teach us to do.  

Thinking vs. Doing

Why is it often more effective to just clean a drawer than spend time psyching yourself up to do a deep clean of your whole room?

There is something about involving our bodies that creates evidence, belief, and motivation at a stronger or deeper level. 

I can think positively about my ability to clean my room for awhile.  But thinking less and just getting up and cleaning one small thing seems to work better. 

My mind is powerful, but combining it with the actions of my body is even more powerful.