The only one whose suffering can heal us

 I never feel like Christ is scared for me or worries about me.  Even when tough things happen.  Yet, as humans, we often feel very selfless in having these emotion—such as worry or fear— about those we care for. 

I grew up having a very strong sense of justice.  I didn't like to see people getting treated in ways that seemed unfair. It was also hard for me to see when people who did bad things seemed to go unpunished.  The unfairness just frustrated me.  It wasn't just people who had hurt me or those I cared about.  I just didn't like to see bad going unpunished. My dad said I had “an overactive sense of justice”.  But, was my "overactive sense of justice" actually part of a lack of faith?  At the time, it felt very righteous.  It felt like I was looking out for the underdog.  I cared about others.  But, often there was very little I could do about the situation other than being upset and talking about it. I have come to realize that being upset about things I can't control is often a sign that I am not believing in God and Christ's plan to take care of things eternally.  I was thinking that somehow I had to help others be punished so that someone else or I could feel better.  Somehow knowing that justice was served, I could have permission to feel better.

But does that actually work? When someone else suffers, do we really feel better?  Maybe sometimes, but only temporarily. 

The only one whose suffering can heal us is Christ's.  All others' suffering is really only about them and their growth.  Having someone else suffer for things they did wrong to us or others doesn't affect our eternal progression.  And their suffering never has the power to take away ours.

Many years ago, I dated a guy pretty seriously and we broke up.  It was a hard break up for me.  Shortly after we broke up, he and one of my best friends at the time started dating.  Part of me wanted them to have a bad break up.  To suffer like I was suffering.  Part of me didn't want to see them happy.  But, I started to realize that while I was grieving and suffering, if they suffered too, that wouldn't really make me happier. It would just add more sadness into the world.  So, of course, with this understanding, I just bucked up and was happy.  No, not really.  It still took some time for me to be glad for their happiness.  Realizing it in my mind, and getting my emotions to catch up are two different things.  But it does help that it makes sense in my mind first.  I can remind my emotions that they get to catch up too.  They ended up getting married.  And I am happy for them.  They are both great people-- of course they were, they were both my friends, right? 

It's such a natural response, to feel like you want others to suffer when you suffer.  Misery loves company is how the saying goes.  We don't want good things to happen to those that do bad.  Especially not those who have done bad to us.  But, when we take this sense of justice into our own hands, that can often be the beginning of worse things in our own lives.

Remember in Star Wars III, where Anakin really takes a turn towards the dark side?  The final pivotal point in that turn was when he was angry and wanted to avenge Padme.  There is a reason that the Lord says that "vengeance is mine." (Romans 12:19)

When we stop needing others to suffer or to be responsible for others' suffering, then is when our suffering is eased.  I am grateful for Christ and His willingness and ability to do that for each of us.